Sunday, January 1, 2012
My Own Happiness Project
A few months ago I started reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin on my way to and from Arizona. I should really read more often. Anyways, I finished it tonight after re-picking it up, again, on my way to and from Arizona for the Holidays.
I was thinking about starting my own little Happiness Project (from now on to be referred to as HP) back in October. However, I wasn't convinced. Until, a dear friend, also named Katie, asked if I had read it about a week ago. I was like, "Absolutely - I just finished July!" After some discussion we have determined to start our own. I will resolve to hashtag it: #thekaties'happinessproject on Twitter.
So we're doing this. In this moment I feel a little overwhelmed by what this means for the next calendar year. I am still processing all that I read and have yet to select my foci. Foci, such a great plural word.
However, while I am still processing, I would like to provide my first few reactions:
1.) The Four Splendid Truths outlined by G-money. (Goodness, I hope Gretchen is alright with that nickname.)
- To be happy, you need to consider feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
I think I do this. Maybe not outlined in this specific way or with such specific purpose, but it will be interesting to explore.
- One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
Legit. This is something I forget and remember many times a week. Another snippet: "Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?" Super cheese, but same concept.
- The days are long, but the years are short.
Oh do I know it.
- You're not happy unless you think you're happy.
Pondering this. Thinking about happiness was what got me questioning happiness. Maybe that's just what happens when you grow up.
2.) The Commandments
I need to craft mine. Maybe not so much craft, but reflect, recall, and place into words what I know to be true.
I like the idea of "Be Katie." More to come..
3.) Even though I am still working through my areas of focus for each month, I would like to start brainstorming a few:
- Energy: Much like G-money, I like starting the year with energy. Workout, go to sleep earlier, eat foods that are mood boosting. I feel good about this one.
- Be present: Enjoying the moments. The small things are often the things that give you happiness and what you'll remember years down the road. I always feel hurried, so that is definitely an area for growth!
- Clear clutter: I am 24 and I already have an excessive amount of stuff. And an excessive amount of stuff I surely do not need. I'll be moving to a new apartment in April so I want to clear out before I move out. Less to move will be blissful!
- Relationships: Maintain them, grow them, or eliminate them if they are creating bad stress. With friends, with family, maybe a lover (partner/dudefriend). I always wish I was better at staying in touch. May one month (and hopefully many more months after) be focused on this.
4.) Instead of the typical NYs resolutions, these will be my resolutions each month.
5.) As a previously self-diagnosed perfectionist, I must continue to remind myself that I won't be perfect.
And just because one day isn't perfect, it isn't a sign to jump off the bandwagon and throw my hands in the air in a gesture of defeat. No ma'am. I will not have it.
Seeing the clock strike 11:06 pm on my Mac means I need to wrap this puppy up so I can go to sleep earlier, as per energy.
Ahh.... 11:12 pm! (6 minutes of editing...) I can't wait to talk with Miss Katie E. about this project!
Bloggeroskis
I don't particularly enjoy writing. I never really have. It's always stressed me out since I can remember: from writing 5 paragraph essays in junior high to writing my thesis, to blogging occasionally. However, I just read through my last 10 posts or so (which span the last 8 months, so not an incredibly high number of posts per month), and realize how important it is to share your thoughts. Even if those it's being shared with are question marks of who and when.
It's fun to read my emotions. I remember exactly how I was feeling during those moments: happy, pissed, remorseful, hopeful, and a million other things, I'm sure. I also get a kick out of reading these entries. I don't think of myself as genuinely funny, but I'm absolutely awkward/quirky funny. Maybe only to me. But laughter is good medicine, so at least I am taking some (a lot) of that each day!
I am also keeping a journal-like book for a close friend who is on her mission in Honduras. She has been gone for just over a year now. I vowed to write often when she left. But again, writing isn't my thing, my passion. I've written, a handful of times. Enough to cover quite a few pages, but I want to write more so she can have a journal, robust with the inner workings of Katie, when she returns. I read through it the other night as I was packing for Tucson. I was laughing for a good twenty minutes. It's hilarious. Maybe only to me. Hopefully to Emily as well. But goodness, that needs to keep comin'.
Both of these journeys have inspired - no, that's strong, have encouraged - me to continue to write. Whilst it may not be the one thing I cannot wait to do when I get home from work or when I open my eyes and stretch my muscles in bed on a Saturday morning, it has proven to be a source of entertainment and personal happiness in the end.
It's fun to read my emotions. I remember exactly how I was feeling during those moments: happy, pissed, remorseful, hopeful, and a million other things, I'm sure. I also get a kick out of reading these entries. I don't think of myself as genuinely funny, but I'm absolutely awkward/quirky funny. Maybe only to me. But laughter is good medicine, so at least I am taking some (a lot) of that each day!
I am also keeping a journal-like book for a close friend who is on her mission in Honduras. She has been gone for just over a year now. I vowed to write often when she left. But again, writing isn't my thing, my passion. I've written, a handful of times. Enough to cover quite a few pages, but I want to write more so she can have a journal, robust with the inner workings of Katie, when she returns. I read through it the other night as I was packing for Tucson. I was laughing for a good twenty minutes. It's hilarious. Maybe only to me. Hopefully to Emily as well. But goodness, that needs to keep comin'.
Both of these journeys have inspired - no, that's strong, have encouraged - me to continue to write. Whilst it may not be the one thing I cannot wait to do when I get home from work or when I open my eyes and stretch my muscles in bed on a Saturday morning, it has proven to be a source of entertainment and personal happiness in the end.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Qualifying Qualifiers
Fun fact: Men and women communicate differently. Gendered speech has recently become fascinating to me. As young children we learn to communicate from our parents, close family, peers, and authorities (teachers, etc.) in our lives. As we develop our gender identity, our patterns of speech and non-verbal communication become part of what we learn and who we are. As a proud female, I have learned my learned speech patterns can hinder me from being taken seriously.
One caveat of gendered speech is females will often qualify their sentences with a question. A qualifier in language increases or reduces the absolute value of a statement. This can be done with an actual question, "I enjoyed the movie. Didn't you?" or by simply raising one's voice at the end of the sentence as one would when asking a question. For example: "You think I will be great at chairing this committee" compared to: You think I will be great at chairing this committee?"
So what does this mean? There are two thought processes.
1.) Women are less confident, so we qualify our statements to solicit feedback to confirm our thoughts and ideas.
2.) Women are looking for a way to encourage others to be involved with the conversation, as a way to continue to build relationships through verbal communication.
*Thank you to Julia Wood for explaining it so well in "Gendered Lives." Great read, high recommend it!
I had a conversation today with one particular colleague, whom I speak with on a regular basis. We always chat about supporting our female students in a male dominated environment and other feminist things, in general. TOday's topic of conversation turned toward the subject of qualifiers and understanding our own speech patterns. We made a pact to try our best to eliminate qualifiers from our daily speech patterns - in an attempt to be more direct and be taken more seriously. We both feel we are confident people, but also realize we have been trained to ask our statements with questions. After some deliberation, we determined the qualifiers we use to invite others to a conversation and develop relationships are beneficial and we want to keep them as part of our speech. However, the questions which lend towards uncertainty and lack of confidence must go. ASAP. This next week will be a test of both awareness and trust in ourselves.
In this same light, I encourage you to consider your speech patterns. I know you are a confident individual. So what shows your confidence?
One caveat of gendered speech is females will often qualify their sentences with a question. A qualifier in language increases or reduces the absolute value of a statement. This can be done with an actual question, "I enjoyed the movie. Didn't you?" or by simply raising one's voice at the end of the sentence as one would when asking a question. For example: "You think I will be great at chairing this committee" compared to: You think I will be great at chairing this committee?"
So what does this mean? There are two thought processes.
1.) Women are less confident, so we qualify our statements to solicit feedback to confirm our thoughts and ideas.
2.) Women are looking for a way to encourage others to be involved with the conversation, as a way to continue to build relationships through verbal communication.
*Thank you to Julia Wood for explaining it so well in "Gendered Lives." Great read, high recommend it!
I had a conversation today with one particular colleague, whom I speak with on a regular basis. We always chat about supporting our female students in a male dominated environment and other feminist things, in general. TOday's topic of conversation turned toward the subject of qualifiers and understanding our own speech patterns. We made a pact to try our best to eliminate qualifiers from our daily speech patterns - in an attempt to be more direct and be taken more seriously. We both feel we are confident people, but also realize we have been trained to ask our statements with questions. After some deliberation, we determined the qualifiers we use to invite others to a conversation and develop relationships are beneficial and we want to keep them as part of our speech. However, the questions which lend towards uncertainty and lack of confidence must go. ASAP. This next week will be a test of both awareness and trust in ourselves.
In this same light, I encourage you to consider your speech patterns. I know you are a confident individual. So what shows your confidence?
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Happiness
So I think a lot about happiness. I probably wouldn't think about it as much, if people didn't always say, "You're always so happy." "You are always smiling." Well, fan-flipping-tastic. I never used to think about it. Now I think about it ALL the TIME.
And I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea why I am always happy, always positive. What specifically makes me happy? Talking to people? Being awesome? Obvs.
And then I started to read this book. You may have heard of it. It's called, "The Happiness Project." I think it's on a few best-selling lists somewhere in America. Some chick had everything and wondered why she wasn't as happy as she felt she should be. So she made small changes every month for a year focusing on a different aspect of her life each month. Smart, yes? Then I thought, should I do that? I'm happy. People tell me they perceive me as happy. But am I as happy as I should be? And then I'm like: what the heck does that even mean. I need like a happy-o-meter that I talk to every morning and it just pops out a rating. And then I would know.
I'm about April into the book right now. It's chalk full of interesting tid-bits, but I have learned two things.
1.) A large majority of our happiness is genetic. We are born at a certain happy level. We can do things to boost or lower that level, but it stays within a range. So I guess I got lucky, and I guess some people are SOL. Rough day when I read that paragraph. I still need to do a little research to confirm, but it is what it is.
2.) Enjoy the process. I think somewhere I just got so busy that I forgot to enjoy the process of getting to a goal. During the past few years, I have reached whatever goal I had set, and I didn't feel a sense of accomplishment. It was like, awesome, check, what's next? So I'm working on appreciating the small things, even if it delays a process. Wow, that got deep.
Alright, it's bed time.
Also I ate too many chocolate chips. Dang you, Safeway and your "buy 1 get one 50% baking items" sales.
And I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea why I am always happy, always positive. What specifically makes me happy? Talking to people? Being awesome? Obvs.
And then I started to read this book. You may have heard of it. It's called, "The Happiness Project." I think it's on a few best-selling lists somewhere in America. Some chick had everything and wondered why she wasn't as happy as she felt she should be. So she made small changes every month for a year focusing on a different aspect of her life each month. Smart, yes? Then I thought, should I do that? I'm happy. People tell me they perceive me as happy. But am I as happy as I should be? And then I'm like: what the heck does that even mean. I need like a happy-o-meter that I talk to every morning and it just pops out a rating. And then I would know.
I'm about April into the book right now. It's chalk full of interesting tid-bits, but I have learned two things.
1.) A large majority of our happiness is genetic. We are born at a certain happy level. We can do things to boost or lower that level, but it stays within a range. So I guess I got lucky, and I guess some people are SOL. Rough day when I read that paragraph. I still need to do a little research to confirm, but it is what it is.
2.) Enjoy the process. I think somewhere I just got so busy that I forgot to enjoy the process of getting to a goal. During the past few years, I have reached whatever goal I had set, and I didn't feel a sense of accomplishment. It was like, awesome, check, what's next? So I'm working on appreciating the small things, even if it delays a process. Wow, that got deep.
Alright, it's bed time.
Also I ate too many chocolate chips. Dang you, Safeway and your "buy 1 get one 50% baking items" sales.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
"I'll be there for you..."
The great thing about moving to a new place is all of the wonderful, new, fun things to do. And they are all wonderful because they are new. It's never been done before, well, at least not by you. But the one downfall of moving on a whim to a new place, is sometimes you just don't know a whole heck of a lot of people. Everyone's real nice, but those emotional connections you have worked to build with friends in past locations just aren't present.
So to sum this up: I've been a little bored.
Don't get me wrong: I've met some wonderful people and work is fulfilling, but I've spent a lot of 'me time' with myself in the last 2.5 months. Most of which I enjoy, sincerely. But that just means I have a decent amount a free time.
And in my free time, I have (further) developed hobbies.
- Running
- Pilates at a studio
- (Excessive) Shopping
- and Watching "Friends"
So "Friends" marathoning, I am. Started with season 1 in July and just got to season 7 today. And I have had quite a few epiphanies in the making.
As a preface, I grew up watching this show. When I was in South America (15 years ago), "Friends" (and "The Nanny") were the only shows I watched in English. So I grew up with Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross every week.
- I've always had a love for each character, but Rachel was my favorite. Fashionista, works at Ralph Lauren, she's pretty, and confident enough to talk to attractive men. (That last one is something I appreciate now.)
Now I realize I loved the characters, and in turn the show, because I identify with each of them uniquely.
*Rachel: Fashionista, ability to get the men (still). She's perfect, yet flawed in ways that add to her perfectness.
*Monica: Neat freak. Organized. Has 11 kinda of towels. I don't, but I appreciate the categorical approach. Perfectionist.
*Phoebe: Quirky, which she embraces. She's not afraid to be herself, and other's embrace her quirky personality traits. I have some quirks and I am not afraid to show the world what I have to offer.
*Joey: Can be focused. Sometimes it's on sex and other times it's on sandwiches. But he is fixed on what he needs (wants) in that moment. When I am in the zone, there is no stopping me.
*Chandler: He's funny. Almost awkward funny. I don't think I am hilarious, but sometimes I make awkward jokes, and it works out.
*Ross: Nerdy. He really is. He's a paleontologist. I may not be akin to Dinosaurs, but some of my favorites include: Star Wars (only the originals), Lord of the Rings (obvs), Harry Potter, ...and math is fun.
- When you're 10, you don't really get all of the sexual innuendos. I get them now. (The show is WAY more funny now.)
- I also enjoy HIMYM. But Barney is a 2000s version of the 1990s Joey.
- The last thing I appreciate about "Friends" is their friendships. The show is driven by a vague storyline about their dating lives, but really what it boils down to is the progression of their relationships. And with that progression came conflict. Lots of conflict. Each show someone is usually pissed at someone else. But at the end of the day they are able to continue on.
They are all actually so different, that in real life I don't know that they would all be friends. Yet, they are so different, that each of the 6 of them fulfill what the other 5 are missing. In that way the show has great chemistry.
Much like all of the Harry Potter fans claim the last movie to be the 'end of an era,' I think the end of "Friends" was an end of an era for me. But reliving that era has been way more fun.
So to sum this up: I've been a little bored.
Don't get me wrong: I've met some wonderful people and work is fulfilling, but I've spent a lot of 'me time' with myself in the last 2.5 months. Most of which I enjoy, sincerely. But that just means I have a decent amount a free time.
And in my free time, I have (further) developed hobbies.
- Running
- Pilates at a studio
- (Excessive) Shopping
- and Watching "Friends"
So "Friends" marathoning, I am. Started with season 1 in July and just got to season 7 today. And I have had quite a few epiphanies in the making.
As a preface, I grew up watching this show. When I was in South America (15 years ago), "Friends" (and "The Nanny") were the only shows I watched in English. So I grew up with Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross every week.
- I've always had a love for each character, but Rachel was my favorite. Fashionista, works at Ralph Lauren, she's pretty, and confident enough to talk to attractive men. (That last one is something I appreciate now.)
Now I realize I loved the characters, and in turn the show, because I identify with each of them uniquely.
*Rachel: Fashionista, ability to get the men (still). She's perfect, yet flawed in ways that add to her perfectness.
*Monica: Neat freak. Organized. Has 11 kinda of towels. I don't, but I appreciate the categorical approach. Perfectionist.
*Phoebe: Quirky, which she embraces. She's not afraid to be herself, and other's embrace her quirky personality traits. I have some quirks and I am not afraid to show the world what I have to offer.
*Joey: Can be focused. Sometimes it's on sex and other times it's on sandwiches. But he is fixed on what he needs (wants) in that moment. When I am in the zone, there is no stopping me.
*Chandler: He's funny. Almost awkward funny. I don't think I am hilarious, but sometimes I make awkward jokes, and it works out.
*Ross: Nerdy. He really is. He's a paleontologist. I may not be akin to Dinosaurs, but some of my favorites include: Star Wars (only the originals), Lord of the Rings (obvs), Harry Potter, ...and math is fun.
- When you're 10, you don't really get all of the sexual innuendos. I get them now. (The show is WAY more funny now.)
- I also enjoy HIMYM. But Barney is a 2000s version of the 1990s Joey.
- The last thing I appreciate about "Friends" is their friendships. The show is driven by a vague storyline about their dating lives, but really what it boils down to is the progression of their relationships. And with that progression came conflict. Lots of conflict. Each show someone is usually pissed at someone else. But at the end of the day they are able to continue on.
They are all actually so different, that in real life I don't know that they would all be friends. Yet, they are so different, that each of the 6 of them fulfill what the other 5 are missing. In that way the show has great chemistry.
Much like all of the Harry Potter fans claim the last movie to be the 'end of an era,' I think the end of "Friends" was an end of an era for me. But reliving that era has been way more fun.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
The End of an Era
I have two days and one morning left in Muncie, IN. Only two short years ago, I was packin gup my life and getting ready to head out to the Midwest. Since then, a lot has happened - some things have changed, others have stayed strangely the same - but if there is one thing I know, it is that I have "done my time," "paid my dues," and am ready to leave the flattest land behind me.
A few months ago, I created a bucket list of things I still wanted to do in Muncie.
- Paint a coat on the world's largest ball of paint with Katie Harder.
- Learn to belly dance with Lamees Galal.
- Go on a bike ride with Kellen Story.
- Execute the top-secret planned adventure with Josiah Black.
- Go to a country club with Mike Starr.
If this was a class, I would have failed Bucket List 101. I painted the ball of paint and completed the secret mission, both with some fantastic people! But with everything nearing an end, I don't seeing bike riding, two-stepping, or belly dancing in my near future. (Perhaps during a trip to visit this upcoming year..) Two out of five.
Even though this was a poor showing, many other adventures have become part of my time here that must also be put on the list!:
- Visit the Muncie Winery (Double points - I went twice.)
- Fly a kite with lil' Ainsley
- Be in a photoshoot for Ball State (For the Graduate School, just it still counts.)
- Saw two sets of best friends get married (Also double points!)
So... What's that? Eight out of eleven? Goodness, that's not evenly distributable. Ehh... about 72-73%. I'll accept a C. C's get diplomas.
As I'm getting ready for the big move/drive out west to the great state of Colorado, I have been posed with the question of "What will I miss most about Muncie?"
I listed off some favorite physical places:
- Farmers Market at Minnetrista
- Running around campus
And a few more:
- IY, Ritters, Concannons, and Ivanhoo's
- Having a plethora of country radio stationsto select from...
But I think I'm going to miss the funny inside jokes:
- The HRL Porno List
- "It's _____TIME."
- Red pants
- The laugh
- The bromances
- What 601 really means, and what happens there...
- 6AB1
- B608
- "I want chocolate!"
And the people I shared these jokes with too over the past two years... :)
A few months ago, I created a bucket list of things I still wanted to do in Muncie.
- Paint a coat on the world's largest ball of paint with Katie Harder.
- Learn to belly dance with Lamees Galal.
- Go on a bike ride with Kellen Story.
- Execute the top-secret planned adventure with Josiah Black.
- Go to a country club with Mike Starr.
If this was a class, I would have failed Bucket List 101. I painted the ball of paint and completed the secret mission, both with some fantastic people! But with everything nearing an end, I don't seeing bike riding, two-stepping, or belly dancing in my near future. (Perhaps during a trip to visit this upcoming year..) Two out of five.
Even though this was a poor showing, many other adventures have become part of my time here that must also be put on the list!:
- Visit the Muncie Winery (Double points - I went twice.)
- Fly a kite with lil' Ainsley
- Be in a photoshoot for Ball State (For the Graduate School, just it still counts.)
- Saw two sets of best friends get married (Also double points!)
So... What's that? Eight out of eleven? Goodness, that's not evenly distributable. Ehh... about 72-73%. I'll accept a C. C's get diplomas.
As I'm getting ready for the big move/drive out west to the great state of Colorado, I have been posed with the question of "What will I miss most about Muncie?"
I listed off some favorite physical places:
- Farmers Market at Minnetrista
- Running around campus
And a few more:
- IY, Ritters, Concannons, and Ivanhoo's
- Having a plethora of country radio stationsto select from...
But I think I'm going to miss the funny inside jokes:
- The HRL Porno List
- "It's _____TIME."
- Red pants
- The laugh
- The bromances
- What 601 really means, and what happens there...
- 6AB1
- B608
- "I want chocolate!"
And the people I shared these jokes with too over the past two years... :)
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